This month’s powerful topic that we have the privilege to share on, is The Virtue of Confidence, one of the attributes that I believe is necessary to assist any individual in achieving success. I do believe that it was Helen Keller who once said that “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” Lacking confidence can take away opportunities from you whilst simultaneously demolishing your true presence and the essence of who you are. I know this feeling all too well, having been in an abusive relationship for years, suffering from depression and Suicidal Tendencies all caused my confidence to go out the window. I was destroyed and blinded from whom I was, the capabilities I had and even worse developed a very low self-esteem.
I had a low expectation of myself and so when many opportunities presented itself I would pass them on to someone else who in my eyes was more capable. I am sure you would agree with me that this is a painful objective for one to have about themselves. However, funny enough in today’s society it is often triggered by individuals measuring their self-worth against other people’s net-worth which then leaves them feeling like an underachiever. The most painful reality of how important confidence is, hit me like a tonne of bricks when my eldest daughter (then 12 at the time and was in her first year of secondary school) went through a devastating time of being bullied to the point where she took an overdose of pills at school. My daughter lost all confidence in how she looked, no longer believed in herself and now thought that she was very ugly. Despite what myself or anyone else said she didn’t and would not believe otherwise. She lost her voice and her identity, which was so painful as I watched a beautiful flower wither away in front of me.
However, this does leave the question’- Did she have confidence in the first place? One of the points I will highlight later in this article is about the effects of hearing and being in a negative environment.
I can now gladly say that after years of coaching, counselling and being in the right circle of influence the beautiful flower has regained its confidence and has started to bloom again.
I would like to briefly share some points with you which I derived from my many lessons through life in regards to the virtue of confidence as I tend to think that life is one of the best teachers. I once saw a lovely quote by Peter McIntyre she said “Confidence comes from not always being right but not fearing to be wrong”
5 reasons why Confidence is Important
- It determines how much you achieve in life as it impacts your efforts or input.
- It assists in the growth of your self-worth – the more confidence you have the more you will believe in yourself and capabilities.
- It will help you to be a better communicator wherever you are.
- Having confidence eradicates possibility blindness.
- Assists in building a barrier against negative attacks
5 tips of how to gain more confidence
- Visualize – Let your imaginations be motivational to you and remember to implement solid mental practices. i.e Declarations
- Circle of Influence – Be in a positive environment of people that help to encourage you and highlight your strengths not just your weaknesses.
- Be mindful of your intake of information
- Positive Thinking
- Don’t allow past failures dictate your future – beware of your inner voice.
I do hope that the above tips can assist you in the areas of building your confidence. However, just like everything else confidence has it Pros as well as its Cons so despite confidence being a crucial attribute to have, it can sometimes be misconstrued and seen as someone filled with pride, full of themselves, or ‘egoistic’. Over-confidence can cause one to be rigid in their own ways and not open to the observation and opinion of others or even accept when they are wrong and can also turn someone into a snob. I do believe that it is all down to the character of an individual as opposed to confidence being the issue.
Why? Because confidence is the trust and/or the faith that you have in your capabilities and being, a massive ingredient in your life once balanced accurately.
Always remember that confidence affects how you think and act, and how successful you are in life. Having self-confidence does not mean that you can do everything but instead assists in achieving expectations that are realistic and keeping one positive even at times when some of the expectations are not met.
Continue to be positive and to accept yourself for the amazing and beautiful creature you are. I leave you with this beautiful quote by the great Norman Vincent Peale “Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.”
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*personal growth #healthand wellbeing