Tuesday , 21 November 2017

Confidence is contagious, back yourself and help it spread

How good is the feeling of completely backing yourself!? It’s a rare feeling that is becoming more and more frequent as I go through the ups and downs of life.
Making decisions has never been something that has come naturally for me (my family will vouch for me on this one!). Weighing up the pros and cons of everything, does it matter, what are the consequences, who will it affect, what do others want me to do, etc etc. boy it is tireing….
I am 32 years old and I feel I am starting to leave a foot print I am confident with.  This didn’t come about without first the feeling …..I’m in my thirties and still havent got my s#!t together!! – why should I feel like this?  Is there a recipe I am meant to be following?
The pressure of doing what we think we are meant to be doing can be so great, it makes you doubt yourself so much that your self esteem, energy and confidence all plummet.
The irony is that at the same time that it feels awful – I also remember feeling comfortable there.  Complain but don’t do anything about changing it.. I remember doing this.  I have come to realise I quite like the lows!  Sounds weird but I know when there is a low, there is a high just around the corner!  And the harder it is to work through, the better the feeling when I do.  I can’t imagine feeling the same all the time – how boring!
I have met some wonderful people over the past year and these people backed me from day one.   The support and confidence they showed in me that then gave me the confidence to back myself has been remarkable.
The saying ‘you will never please everyone’ is as true as the words suggest, having the confidence to understand this, and do what you believe anyway, is backing yourself.
So is happiness then, the result or the cause of confidence?  Are you happy because you are more confident, or are you more confident because you are happy?
Is there even an answer to this or are these just two feelings of joy that interact with each other in a positive way?  I am happy within myself at the moment and this certainly leads to me backing myself more.  I have just resigned from my job because I was so unhappy I was continually doubting what I believed in.  I starting thinking “maybe I should just believe what they all believe and it will be so much easier”.  But if we don’t ask the ‘Why’ questions, how can things progress and remain relevant.
A smile is contagious, and I believe confidence is too.  If we don’t express our opinions and thoughts, imagine how many thoughts of others would never eventuate.  Its a bit like setting up the goal – you didn’t score the points yourself, but without you, they certainly wouldn’t have either.

About Rebel Black

Rebel Black
In 2011 Rebel Black was named as one of the Top 10 Young And Influential People in Australia. She has a background in entrepreneurship, community development, consulting, journalism and rural/regional development. Rebel has successfully operated and launched 3 award winning businesses from the opal fields of Lightning Ridge, outback NSW and THE RW is her fourth and most exciting entrepreneurial development.


  1. Hi Han! Really enjoyed this post. Love your self awareness, honesty and wisdom. It resonated strongly with me as I’m sure it will with many other women. Particularly connected with this: “If we don’t express our opinions and thoughts, imagine how many thoughts of others would never eventuate” and I remind myself of this often. Keep backing yourself beautiful lady as you have so much to offer this world! Benita x

    • Thanks for your kind comments Benita. I am thrilled you got something out of it. Communication is a wonderful thing, we’d be pretty lonely without it. Rebel and Phoebe do a wonderful job at being a catalyst for this xx

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